These are the lyrics to my songs, kind of in chronological order. Sometimes I still change them for reasons. Some of them I don‘t play live anymore but I have no real reason to remove the lyrics from this site. Maybe some of them still end up being recorded after all.
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This friendship is a sinking ship

I thought this was friendship at the time and I thought that this was going to last.
And I thought that your interests were mine, but I just didn‘t get that our differences were so vast.
But after some time I realized, what bond together you and me was our then boring daily-life routine and some now fading memories.
We laughed a lot, but we never cried.
We talked a lot, but I will never stay quiet.
We fought a lot, but i will never stop to fight.
Actually you know, I hope you‘re fine.
I hope that you‘re fine.
I hope you‘re fine.

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Possabilities

So this is it!
This is the best we can do and everything we‘re able to be.
You‘re not gonna change anything so forget all your immature dreams.
And bury your little utopia and cut off your legs at the knees.
You can‘t run away anyhow it’s enough if you‘re as big as we need you to be.
You‘ll never be free, oh no!
Our existence is set in stone.
You‘ll never be free, oh no!
Our existence is set in stone.
And the machines will get better and better, but we won‘t.
And they call it civilized, but I beg to differ.
Because all that so called progress is useless if we don‘t try to live up to our human abilities.
My eyes hurt, cause I‘m desperately searching for words and my head aches, cause I wanna figure out what it takes to make you realize the possibilities of something more are there, right in front of us! We could create a better world, if we honestly dared (to achieve this goal).
But we‘ll never be free, oh no!
Our existence is set in stone.
You‘ll never be free, oh no!
Our existence is set in stone.
And the machines will get better and better, but we won‘t.
And they call it civilized, but I beg to differ.
Because all that so called progress is useless if we don‘t try to live up to our human abilities.

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No nation but procastrination

I‘m caught between boredom and laziness.
And time keeps passing by.
I unconsciously let it pass, avoiding any decisions as
everything seems so much more difficult in that very moment,
when I pull myself together and I think that i could and I end up pushing everything away from me again.
There, in the corner, like a picture of misery: A self-hating, unconfident cannibal, accusing himself of hipocrisy.
I live between thirst for action and weariness, wanting to get things straight and done, but living a never-ending task of creating nothing but more and more mess.
And celebrating constant regress in front of computer screens. Hiding from my insecurities and repetedly telling myself again and again:
Life’s just as hard as it seems, but I‘m my strongest enemy.
There, in the corner, like a picture of misery: A self-hating, unconfident cannibal, accusing himself of hipocrisy.

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Self-assured

For the sake of honesty, the future scares the shit out of me.
I‘ve never grown out of my teenage anxieties.
And I‘m just not as self-assured as I might seem to be.
Spare me with reality, I‘m frightened by the causalities that everyday-life has to it, and my mortality…
And I‘m just not as self-assured as I might seem to be.

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A song for my friend Jimmy Bumblebee

Now look at us, sitting in a friend’s car in an empty parking lot with our mouths shut, just watching the race of the raindrops on the front window.
It’s not that we have nothing to tell eachother, but we know that right now there is no need, it’s ok.
So we just keep still, knowing that we didn‘t give in this time and hoping that we never will.
We just keep still knowing that we didn‘t give in this time and hoping that we never ever will.
Not too long ago, I knew nothing about you and you knew nothing about me.
But our paths crossed accidentally and we clearly got more than we could have ever expected.
We lost some hope, but won a friend.
We lost some hope, but won a friend.
Let’s not lose touch, I feel like still our very own storybook contains lots of empty pages yet to fill.
Let’s not lose touch, I feel like still our very own storybook has lots of empty pages yet to be filled by us.

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The day when nothing ends.

Depression lies so near, I‘m out of hope my dear friend and I‘m going down.
I‘m so fed up with keeping my head up with all the empty promises that I gave myself.
I made myself, I‘m at my worst.
This is the day when nothing ends, this is the day when none of this ends.
And I‘m done but I‘m not finished.
It’s the same sun that hurts in my eyes that gets me out of my bed and makes me smile, at least.
And the same songs that make me angry and sad at the same time make me feel alive for a while.
And I‘m done but I‘m not finished.

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Three wishes

Caffeine to stay awake, alcohol to forget the pain.
Some pictures of vacation days, desperate to make them stay forever.
(We) hold on to (y)our charades.
There will be no afterlife and no paradise and our lives right here, right now, seem like a waste sometimes.
Such a shame.
Sleep to work and work to eat.
Breathe to live and smoke to breathe.
A house a car, an old fashioned family, just because it has to be.
(We) hold on to (y)our charades.
There will be no afterlife and no paradise and our lives right here, right now, seem like a waste sometimes.
But if I had three wishes, my first would be a plane, so I could gather all my friends and we could travel far away.
My second wish would be a secret place for us to stay, where we could be free from pressure to achieve and live in our own ways.
And we would never establish a nation-state and wouldn‘t judge by gender or „race“.
And we would work for ourselves, neither masters nor slaves and not for a god and not for a wage.
But my third wish, if that’s all too much to ask would be a simple claim: That at least we stay young in our hearts and never become the same.

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Empty eyes

I don‘t know what it’s like, when you think you start to lose your mind cause your former lover does no longer want you in his life.
And you simply don‘t know why.
Because you tried your best, to hide your tears and hold your breath, now all that’s left are
Empty eyes, in the morning, when you get up and empty eyes when you go to sleep, each one for his or her own.
Empty eyes in between.
Empty eyes in between.
Nothing to say and nothing to give, that’s not the way you two should live.
Nothing to say and nothing to give, that’s not the way either one of you should live.
It’s been a while since I last saw you smile together and I had the feeling that everything’s gonna be just fine.
But now nothing’s fine and it might be better for you to part ways before you start to hate eachother.
Empty eyes, in the morning, when you get up and empty eyes when you go to sleep, each one for his or her own.
Empty eyes in between.
Empty eyes in between.
Nothing to say and nothing to give, that’s not the way you two should live.
Nothing to say and nothing to give, that’s not the way either one of you should live.
(You know) when I was young i thought that you would live forever, that you were always able to simply manage everything.
But now i know that life is short and you‘re just humans and that it’s not worth it to stay in pain just to keep some people from talking.

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Words

We incorporate all this hate, in our daily lives.
We discriminate and we marginalize people with our words.
We create, repeat and reproduce stereotypes.
It’s due time, with every sentence it gets worse, we have to read between the lines.
It’s due time, with every sentence it gets worse, we have to read between the lines.
Because we are responsible for the things we say and to whom and in what way.
Because we alone create the environment in which people can or cannot feel safe and wanted-
So mean what you say or just keep it to yourself and maybe someday you‘ll get it.
So mean what you say or just keep it to yourself and maybe someday you‘ll get that
„Gay“ may never be an insult.
As „retarded“ may never be an insult.
But we use those words in negative contexts and they more and more become insults.
Because we change the connotations and ignorantly act if there was nothing to it.
So people start to feel bad and excluded, just because we are too lazy or stubborn to mind our words.
This is not about a set of rules.
This is not about „behaviour“.
This is about empathy, consciousness and endeavor.
By calling people foreigners, they‘ll always stay foreigners.
By calling people foreigners, they‘ll stay foreigners forever.
And you still think that this is just your own business?

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Just buried

How can I resent someone I love for following their wants and needs as I do not possess anyone and noone possesses me?
And why shall I ever be jealous again of their relationship with others, when our own relationship is prolific and great and that’s the only thing that matters.
And I tell myself:
These are not my morals.
These are not my rules.
These are not things that we have to do.
These are things we choose.
Because I thought we defined how we want our relationships to be, but there are no relationships without culture and society.
Communication and agreements, emancipation and consent instead of fear, dishonesty, instead of hurt and contempt.
Because it’s not that we‘re „forever damned“, but we‘re also not completely indifferent to the fact that we‘re not just who we want ourselves to be, but also the people we were brought up to be, so…
Fuck jealousy.
Fuck possesiveness.
But first and foremost
Fuck me.
My romantic socialization clashes with my idealist heart.
I really just want us to be happy and free, but sometimes it tears me apart.

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Nasty Corners

It’s the things that you don‘t see,
the things that noone knows of me.
The things that noone can see.
These thoughts are debris, but still somehow they‘re part of me,
and constant reminder that I‘m not better than anyone.
And also of how i never want to become.
Where do all these horrible thoughts come from?
I truly, sincerely hope, that I‘m better than that.
And what does this tell me about my disposition?
And what is it that distinguishes the „good“ from the „bad“?
If there’s even something like that.
Like nasty corners in my head, soiled by things I‘ve never said.
And never could and never would.
Issues I didn‘t think i had.
But maybe realizing, that some things, sometimes have to remain unspeakable,
is what makes a good person(?).

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Untitled (aka Summertime Sadness)

Last summer I had the worst time of my life,
but in some weird way it helped me to grow.
And everything I own and everyone I know,
means something different to me now.
Because I learned plenty from our mistakes,
and I felt empty long enough.
But if feeling empty is what it takes,
to be able to reinvent yourself…
Then maybe we can tell ourselves,
that all this shit served some kind of purpose.
Though we should never forget, what’s at stake.

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Life and Death Pt. I

If I die to know you or if I hate your guts and your face and everything you say.
The fact that without you I‘d be noone simply keeps me amazed.
So I keep my feet on the ground as there is nowhere to go but to waste.
We‘re not special, but we‘re special to some.
And so we‘ll keep eachother afloat until we‘re gone.
And I keep repeating a thought in my head that helps me sleep:
Most things don‘t matter, as we‘re just matter.
But our relations and our ideas serve as distinction for our time being here.

Life and Death Pt. II

Why is everybody searching for a higher meaning in life?
We are scared shitless that our footsteps are getting erased by the time passing by.
And that noone will remember how we laughed and cried once.
Cause the day will come that we and all our friends will have died.
Cause we are beautiful bodies slowly rotting away.
We are brilliant minds hopelessly fading away.
But the fear of not being there anymore is also a fear of not being scared anymore.
Life is as weird as that sounds but I‘m still scared of dying.

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Personal Relations

We couldn‘t take the whole experience of really knowing someone.
And sometimes we tend to hold on to illusions or things that are already gone.
There is an appeal to giving in, to not knowing or to not wanting to know.
As there is to being strong and critical and rational and curious and bold.
We try hard not just to breath but to be.
But the big picture is to big to oversee and the long run is way too long at least for me.
There are things that I don‘t know and things I‘ll never see.
And there are things that I don‘t even want cause they are simply not for me.
There’s an extent to curiosity as there’s an extent to possibilities.
I‘ll put an end to authenticity.
And I‘ll put an end to perfection and consistency.
Inconsistencies.
And I‘ll hide in plain sight.
So if you have to you will know where to find me.
And I‘ll be who I can be.
Whatever that means.